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Doyle's Pub- Correction

<< Thèmes généraux, jeux, chansons || En bas

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Doyle's Pub- Correction
Message de raflop posté le 18-10-2010 à 16:51:43 (S | E | F)
Bonjour tout le monde, je vous envoie un devoir que je viens de finir. Son intitulé est : "Kevin writes a letter to his girlfriend and tells her about his decision to leave Ulster". Le contexte est en plein dans les émeutes et les affrontements entre catholiques et protestants en Irlande du Nord.
Je n'ai pas eu d'idées pour les addresses, ni pour la formule de fin. Si vous pouviez me dépanner ce serait sympathique. Merci : Voila mon devoir :

McCoy Kevin,
Nolan Sadie,
October 10th, 1970

Dear Miss Nolan Sadie

I send you this letter Sadie, because I took an important decision and you must know it. I begin to be fed up with riotings, confrontations between Protestants and Catholics, policemen’s interventions, deaths in the street, and all sorts of violences.
I want to live in a city in peace, where I can’t see people with gunfires in the street with the haltred against other people just for a “problem” of religion. I don’t want to be arrest by policemen everyday because they think that I’m a violent rioter.
People must accept nowadays, that two religions can coexist in our country. They are really ridiculous; doing a civil war just for a question of religion is useless. We can see, for example in France. This country have many religions among his population like Muslims, Catholics, Protestants. And over there, there is no civilian war, no problem between populations. I wish that In Ireland, I hope that one day Catholics and Protestants will be able to take a coffee together.
For of confrontations between Catholics and Protestants, a lot of people are separate. Because certain don’t abide and don’t understand that two people must be in love even if they have not the same religion. It’s the case for us, unfortunately ... Just a few days ago, I met Brian Rafferty, you must know him I suppose. Because he laughed at me when he knows that I were with you the day when Doyle’s pub were burnt. He puts me on edge, and so I left him.
I think that now, you understand why I send you a letter Sadie. For all of those things I have decided to leave Belfast and even Ulster. I can’t support one day more of violences.
I love you Sadie..."


Réponse: Doyle's Pub- Correction de may, postée le 20-10-2010 à 02:08:38 (S | E)
Bonsoir,

October 10th, 1970

Dear Miss Nolan Sadie

I send you this letter Sadie, because I took an important decision and (je pense) you must conditional know it. I begin to be fed up with riotings riots/disturbances? , confrontations between Protestants and Catholics, policemen’s interventions, deaths in autre préposition the street, and all sorts of violences.
I want to live in a adjectif of peace city (in peace) , where I can’t verbe do or will see people with gunfires in autre prép. the street with the haltred against towards? other people just for a article défini “problem” of religion. I don’t want to be arrest participe passé by policemen everyday because they think that I’m a violent rioter.
People must accept nowadays, that two religions can coexist in our country. They are really ridiculous; doing a civil war just for a question of religion is useless doesn't make sense?. We can see, for example in France.a comma This country have accorder avec sujet singulier many religions (among his population) like Muslims, Catholics, Protestants. And over there, there is no civilian war, no problem between populations un autre mot. I wish that In Ireland, (I hope that) one day Catholics and Protestants will conditional be able to take avoir a coffee together.
(For) parce queof article confrontations between Catholics and Protestants, a lot of people are separate participe passé. Because certain people? don’t abide accepter? and don’t understand that two people personnes must can be in love even if they have not utiliser auxiliary do the same religion. It’s the case for us notre cas, unfortunately ... Just a few days ago, I met Brian Rafferty, you (must) know him I suppose. (Because) he laughed at me when he knows (that) I were with you the day when Doyle’s pub were burnt. He puts past tense me on edge , and so I left him.
Now I think (that now,) you understand why I send you a ce/cette letter a comma Sadie. For all of those things comma I have decided to leave Belfast and even Ulster. I can’t support handle/suffer one more day (more) of violences.
I love you Sadie..."


Your lover,

McCoy Kevin

(...) omit



Réponse: Doyle's Pub- Correction de notrepere, postée le 21-10-2010 à 18:44:13 (S | E)
Hello! I agree with most May's corrections. However, I think he missed a few (sorry may...)

I send (présent continu) you this letter Sadie, because I took (made) an important decision and you must know it (pas natural; on peut dire: 'I want to tell you about it'. I begin to be fed up (mieux: 'I am fed up' with riotings, confrontations between Protestants and Catholics, policemen’s interventions, deaths in the street, and all sorts of violences (pas de 's').
I want to live in a city in peace (follow may's advice), where I can’t see people with gunfires (on peut dire: 'firing guns' or just 'with guns') in the street with the haltred against other people just for a “problem” of religion. I don’t want to be arrest by policemen everyday because they think that I’m a violent rioter.
People must accept nowadays, that two religions can coexist in our country. They are really ridiculous; doing (on ne dit pas 'doing a civil war') a civil war just for a question of religion is useless ('pointless'). We can see, for example in France (pas natural; on peut dire: 'We can use France as an example.'). This country have (accorde: 'country') many religions among his (pas une personne: 'its') population like ('such as') Muslims, Catholics andProtestants. And over there, there is no civilian war and no problem between populations. I wish that In (on peut dire: 'the same for') Ireland, I hope that one day Catholics and Protestants will be able to take a (pas naturel en anglais) coffee together.
For of confrontations between Catholics and Protestants, a lot of people are separate. Because certain [il manque un mot] don’t abide and don’t understand that two people must be in love even if they have not the same religion. It’s the case for us, unfortunately ... Just a few days ago, I met Brian Rafferty, [point] You must know him (I suppose.) because he laughed at me when he knows ('discovered' ou 'found out' that I were (accorde: I) with you the day when Doyle’s pub were [à supprimer] burnt. He puts me on edge (d'accord), and so I left him.
I think that now, you understand why I am sending you a letter Sadie. For (A cause de) all of those (these) things I have decided to leave Belfast and even Ulster. I can’t support one day more of violences.
I love you Sadie..."

Cordialement




Réponse: Doyle's Pub- Correction de may, postée le 22-10-2010 à 03:09:11 (S | E)
Helllo notrepere,

I think what McCoy Kevin wanted to say is I cannot handle one more day of violence
and also, for the question Je n'ai pas eu d'idées pour les addresses, ni pour la formule de fin
I added Your lover, McCoy Kevin as la formule de fin.

Best wishes,

-------------------
Modifié par lucile83 le 22-10-2010 08:51
Layout




Réponse: Doyle's Pub- Correction de iamchristine, postée le 22-10-2010 à 07:06:54 (S | E)
Hello everyone,
I would be interested in contributing, however, I'll wait for the newly edited version by Doyle. Is there one on the way? Or are you pressed for time?

c

-------------------
Modifié par lucile83 le 22-10-2010 08:52
Please notice we write 'I' not 'i'.





Réponse: Doyle's Pub- Correction de iamchristine, postée le 25-10-2010 à 05:38:50 (S | E)
Bonjour,
Je suis au courant qu'il est grammatiquement grammaticalement correct d'écrire 'i' avec une majuscule; je l'ai fait par expres ??.
Merci quand même.

-------------------
Modifié par lucile83 le 25-10-2010 09:08



Réponse: Doyle's Pub- Correction de iamchristine, postée le 25-10-2010 à 21:36:04 (S | E)
Bonjour,
Je n'ai pas de symboles français sur ce clavier alors si ça te plait de les corriger, en voilà plein d'autres. Et puis, le mot 'grammatiquement' est dans la langue courante ici. 'Par expres' est une expression courante qui apparemment n'existe pas où tu es. Et oui, on se tutoie.

-------------------
Modifié par lucile83 le 26-10-2010 08:16



Réponse: Doyle's Pub- Correction de notrepere, postée le 25-10-2010 à 23:39:46 (S | E)
Hello iamchristine!

grammatiquement

Reverso, Collins, Larousse: il n'existe pas

I couldn't find it in 7 other online dictionaries either. Gosh, I think Lucile must be correct.

To type accents, just click on the "Accents" button just above the submission/reply box. It is not considered good etiquette to leave them out. Also, don't forget to say "Hello" or to use some other form of polite greeting when you post a message to the forum.

Cordialement




Réponse: Doyle's Pub- Correction de irish21, postée le 26-10-2010 à 07:51:46 (S | E)
Hello notrepere,

I can't say fairer than that.



Réponse: Doyle's Pub- Correction de lucile83, postée le 26-10-2010 à 08:16:19 (S | E)
Hello iamchristine,

Il existe certaines règles de conduite sur le site que je vous conseille fortement de lire:
Lien Internet


Merci également de lire le message de notrepere qui indique comment ajouter les accents.
J'ajoute que respecter l'orthographe est une priorité sur ce site.

Je vous prierai également de rester dans le cadre du sujet initial.

Merci de votre compréhension.






Réponse: Doyle's Pub- Correction de raflop, postée le 26-10-2010 à 18:40:32 (S | E)
Bonjour tout le monde, je vous mets ma première correction suite aux conseils de May (j'en ferais une ensuite avec les conseils de Notrepère). Mais je voudrais deja savoir si ce que j'ai fais après cette première correction est juste. J'ai laissé encore quelques erreurs notamment sur le conditionnel car je n'arrive pas à m'en servir correctement ...
Voila le premier corrigé :

October 10th, 1970

Dear Miss Nolan Sadie

I send you this letter Sadie, because I took an important decision and I think you must conditional know it. I begin to be fed up with disturbances, confrontations between Protestants and Catholics, policemen’s interventions, deaths on the street, and all sorts of violences.
I want to live in a peaceful city , where I don’t see people with gunfires on the street with the haltred towards other people just for the “problem” of religion. I don’t want to be arrested by policemen everyday because they think that I’m a violent rioter.
People must accept nowadays, that two religions can coexist in our country. They are really ridiculous; doing a civil war just for a question of religion is useless doesn't make sense?. We can see, for example in France, This country have allow many religions (among his population) like Muslims, Catholics, Protestants. And over there, there is no civilian war, no problem between civilizations. I hope that In Ireland, one day Catholics and Protestants will conditional be able to have a coffee together.
Because of the confrontations between Catholics and Protestants, a lot of people are separated . Because certain people don’t accept and don’t understand that two people persons can be in love even if they have don’t use the same religion. It’s our case, unfortunately ... Just a few days ago, I met Brian Rafferty, you must know him I suppose. Because he laughed at me when he knows that I were with you the day when Doyle’s pub were burnt. He had put me on edge (il m’avait énervé je voulais dire), and so I left him.
I think that now, you understand why I send you a this letter, Sadie. For all of those things, I have decided to leave Belfast and even Ulster. I can’t suffer one day more of violences.
I love you Sadie..."


Your lover,

McCoy Kevin

(...) omit




Réponse: Doyle's Pub- Correction de raflop, postée le 26-10-2010 à 18:52:10 (S | E)
Je viens de faire la correction maintenant suite aux conseils de Notrepère (séparément de celle faite précédemment). L'expression "he puts me on edge" me pose toujours problème dans les deux cas. Je ne sais pas comment dire qu'"il m'a énerver, il m'a mis dans tout mes états".
Merci, voici le second corrigé :
I’m sending you this letter Sadie, because I made an important decision and I want to tell you about it. I am fed up with riotings, confrontations between Protestants and Catholics, policemen’s interventions, deaths in the street, and all sorts of violence.
I want to live in a peaceful city, where I can’t see people firing guns in the street with the haltred against other people just for a “problem” of religion. I don’t want to be arrested by policemen everyday because they think that I’m a violent rioter.
People must accept nowadays, that two religions can coexist in our country. They are really ridiculous; To do a civil war just for a question of religion is pointless.We can use France as an example. This country has many religions among its' population such as Muslims, Catholics and Protestants. And over there, there is no civilian war and no problem between populations. I wish the same for Ireland, I hope that one day Catholics and Protestants will be able to have coffee together.
Because of confrontations between Catholics and Protestants, a lot of people are separate. Because certain people don’t abide and don’t understand that two people must be in love even if they have not the same religion. It’s the case for us, unfortunately ... Just a few days ago, I met Brian Rafferty. You must know him because he laughed at me when he discovered that I was with you the day when Doyle’s pub burnt. He puts me on edge (d'accord), and so I left him.
I think that now, you understand why I am sending you a letter Sadie. On account of all of these things I have decided to leave Belfast and even Ulster. I can’t support one day more of violence.
I love you Sadie..."




Réponse: Doyle's Pub- Correction de headway, postée le 26-10-2010 à 19:14:03 (S | E)
Bonsoir raflop,

est-ce que: he drove me up to the wall/he got on my nerves/ pourrait convenir ici?

Cordialement.

Headway.



Réponse: Doyle's Pub- Correction de raflop, postée le 26-10-2010 à 19:15:41 (S | E)
He got on my nerves me semble correct, mais étant donné que je ne suis qu'un simple élève je préfére que l'on me le confirme.



Réponse: Doyle's Pub- Correction de violet91, postée le 26-10-2010 à 23:20:11 (S | E)
Bonsoir raflop,

L'aide a été conséquente et bien utilisée.Le site est décidément un extraordinaire endroit de partage.

Toutefois..je m'étonne de voir partout : "haltred" à la place de "hatred" : la haine, j'imagine. C'est un nom abstrait , donc pas d'article.

--Where I won't see people firing guns --with hatred against others...---two people can be in love ---if they don't have ---on the day when--I can't bear (stand, imagine myself )spending one more day overhere..
You are my darling, all the same. It is such a shame...(-will you follow me?)

Good night



Réponse: Doyle's Pub- Correction de raflop, postée le 01-11-2010 à 23:09:57 (S | E)
Tout est bon merci !!!
Encore une petite question : Pourriez vous me donner deux addresses (fictives ou non) de type irlandaises pour parfaire mon devoir.

Merci




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