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Correction/ lettre motivation

Cours gratuits > Forum > Thèmes généraux, jeux, chansons || En bas

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Correction/ lettre motivation
Message de isabel24 posté le 28-01-2014 à 21:31:59 (S | E | F)
Bonjour,
j'aimerais postuler pour partir en échange universitaire au Japon et je ne suis pas trop sûr par rapport à certaines phrases, pourriez-vous m'aider?
Merci beaucoup d'avance.

Dear Madam, Sir,

Currently in my last year of LEA English and Japanese at Bordeaux Montaigne University, I am writing to apply for the Exchange Student Program at Okayama University for a period of two semesters.
Highly motivated to study abroad, this opportunity would allow me to greatly improve my Japanese language skills. To be immersed in the country that speaks the language I am learning is the more effective way to improve myself. Studying in Okayama University would be a perfect way to expand my horizons in both Japanese culture and traditions as well as obtain an international experience. So this exchange really means a lot for me because it would permit me to explore my professional projects and my future.

Furthermore, Okayama University has an excellent reputation in the quality of its education and good studying condition. I have heard a lot of positive comments from last year exchange students who spoke highly of the University. I would like as well visit the beautiful historic sites and historical structures that Okayama city has to offer like the Kibitsu Shrine or the Okayama castle and its garden. Moreover, Okayama University’s International Exchange Agreements with 170 overseas universities and research institutions is a great multicultural opportunities and a chance to build a strong social network with Japanese and people from all around the world.

I am positive that going to Okayama University is a unique opportunity of studying and living abroad as well as earning a lifetime experience, to enrich and develop myself as an individual and in my professional life.

Thank you for your time and consideration.

Yours Sincerely,

-------------------
Modifié par lucile83 le 28-01-2014 21:35


Réponse: Correction/ lettre motivation de gerondif, postée le 02-02-2014 à 10:39:53 (S | E)
Bonjour,
Currently in my last year of LEA English and Japanese (a B.A. in foreign languages) at Bordeaux Montaigne University, I am writing to apply for the Exchange Student Program at Okayama University for a period of two semesters.
Highly motivated to study abroad, this opportunity would allow me to greatly improve my Japanese language skills. To be immersed in the country that speaks the language I am learning is the more(mostsuperlatif) effective way to improve myself. Studying in Okayama University would be a perfect way to expand my horizons in both Japanese culture and traditions as well as to obtain an international experience. So this exchange really means a lot for/(to) me because it would permitallow me to explore my professional projects and my future.

Furthermore, Okayama University has an excellent reputation for in the quality of its education and good studying conditions (pluriel). I have heard a lot of positive comments from last year's exchange students who spoke highly of the University. I would also like to visit the beautiful historic sites and historical structures that Okayama city has to offer, like the Kibitsu Shrine or the Okayama castle and its garden. Moreover, Okayama University’s International Exchange Agreements with 170 overseas universities and research institutions is a great multicultural opportunities(singulier avec "a") and a chance(est un faux ami signifiant le hasard) to build a strong social network with Japanese people from all around the world.

I am positive that (ne paraît trop peu soutenu pour cette lettre) going to Okayama University is a unique opportunity for studying and living abroad as well as earning (s'applique plus à de l'argent qu'à une expérience) a lifetime experience, to enrich and develop myself as an individual and in my professional life.

Thank you for your time and consideration.

Yours Sincerely,



Réponse: Correction/ lettre motivation de isabel24, postée le 06-02-2014 à 11:33:18 (S | E)
Je vous remercie d'avoir pris le temps de me corriger. j'ai malheureusement déjà envoyé cette lettre il y a un peu moins d'une semaine. Heureusement, la plupart des erreurs que vous avez mentionné ont été corrigé avant.

Cordialement,


Isabel




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