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Correction/lettre motivation

Cours gratuits > Forum > Thèmes généraux, jeux || En bas

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Correction/lettre motivation
Message de talguize posté le 16-01-2015 à 13:01:15 (S | E | F)
Bonjour à tous !
je voudrais avoir votre avis sur ma lettre de motivation pour un poste à New York, merci d'avance !
voici ma lettre :

To the M******** C******* C*** team,

Recently graduated of my Master’s Degree in cellular and molecular biology in France, I am currently searching for a Position. I am highly interested by the one you propose.

I have been attracted by microscopy since the internship I made during the first year of Master’s degree with S****** H***. The second internship I made in the CRCNA in xxx (U892) with E****** S***** and S***** N******* confirmed that microscopy was a media that I particularly liked to work with.

Your expertise in microscopy is undeniable and as said: this is the greatest opportunity for me to work with microscopy in several fields of study, that's why I want to apply in your team.

My studies allowed me to do 3 internships in 3 different laboratories. The first was during my Bachelor's Degree, studying biophysic, the second was during my first year of Master's Degree with S******** H***, studying chromatin reconstruction after DNA break induced by laser in photonic microscopy via fluorescence recovery after photo bleaching (FRAP) analysis. This was my first experience with microscopes and image analysis, that I liked a lot.
My last and longer internship was the past year, for my Master's Degree, in the CRCNA in xxx with E******* S***** and S***** N*******. This internship was about studying a protein named BTN3A1 during the activation of Vγ9Vδ2 T Cells while studying its membrane mobility in microscopy through FRAP analysis. This work was very interesting and allowed me to do some cell culture and to use many tools such as another confocal microscopes and flow cytometers.
My two Master’s degree internships taught me a lot about microscopy, that is why I want to keep going working with microscopes.

I would be glad to share with you the knowledge I gain from the different studies I made during my education. Also, I would be pleased to enhance the panel of tool I use in your laboratory, especially the opportunity to work with other types of microscopes.

Plus, I am looking forward that great opportunity to work in the United States of America because I always wanted to have a professional experience outside France and especially in the USA. For me, that position is the best chance to do it.

My curriculum allowed me, through my several internships, to see that microscopy and image analysis were what I wanted to work on; I speak well English (CLES 2 Diploma obtained in 2014, corresponding to a B2 level) and have facility to integrate a team. I already have strong basis on the different tools that are used in that position, such as microscopes, but also the different software used. I also want to know much about all the tools I could use so I think a have the adequate profile for applying for this Position.

I am dynamic, serious, motivated, and organized, I think I could integrate your laboratory, that include many good scientists, quite easily and I would be very glad to.

You can feel free to contact any of the references listed on my résumé if you have any questions about me. Also, I am available for any interview, so feel free again to contact me if you want to discuss about the possibility of any collaboration between us.

I thank you for taking the time to read my résumé and am looking forward to hearing from you soon.

Yours faithfully.

-------------------
Modifié par lucile83 le 16-01-2015 22:38



Réponse: Correction/lettre motivation de saghouu, postée le 16-01-2015 à 13:04:12 (S | E)
Elle est excellente, bonne chance.

-------------------
Modifié par lucile83 le 16-01-2015 23:09
Pas tout à fait



Réponse: Correction/lettre motivation de talguize, postée le 16-01-2015 à 13:52:12 (S | E)
Merci beaucoup pour cet avis




Réponse: Correction/lettre motivation de lucile83, postée le 16-01-2015 à 23:09:14 (S | E)
Hello,
A few corrections in green

microscopes and image analysis, that I liked a lot......analysis that... ou bien ...analysis, which...
My last and longer internship was the past year, for my Master's Degree, ....My latest and longest internship was last year,...
... panel of tool I use.... panel of tools I will use
...especially the opportunity to work... especially thanks to the opportunity to work
...but also the different software used...but also the different software that are used
...I think a have the adequate profile....I think I have the ...
...I could integrate your laboratory, that include many good scientists, quite easily.....I could easily integrate your laboratory that includes many good scientists..
...and am looking forward....and I look forward ...




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Cours gratuits > Forum > Thèmes généraux, jeux


 


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