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Message de marys27 posté le 27-02-2016 à 22:56:14 (S | E | F)
Bonsoir,
J'ai eu un premier entretien à la fin duquel on m'a demandé de leur envoyer par mail mes impressions sur l'entretien. Ils m'ont appelée pour un deuxième entretien et m'ont dit que ce que je leur ai envoyé n'était pas à la hauteur de notre première rencontre et ils m'ont demandé de le refaire. J'avoue que je ne sais pas trop ce qu'ils attendent de moi. Je le mets ici pour que vous puissiez corriger les fautes s'il vous plait.
Merci pour votre aide!
Dears,
Thank you for the opportunity of a second interview for the position of import export assistant and I confirm you my interest on the job.
It was a pleasure speaking with you again and meating Misters xxxx.I also enjoy the opportunity to learn more about the job thanks to the description data sheet you provided me.
I well note the needs of your company. As we discussed you need someone with strong skills and experience on import and export procedure in order to bring back your final products from your different plants, to supply your existing customers abroad and to expand your business in new markets.
For my part,I have extensive experience with road and maritime transports . I know the customs procedures, the incoterms and the administration formalities. I know the operating relationship of the various services of a company thanks to my work in the reception, purchasing, production, sales and logistic departments in my previous job so I have the ability to resolve with reactivity all kind of problems related with logistic and all matters in general . I can create understanding and comunication between the different departments to reach the best efficiency.
I show initiative on my work and I can bring you my openess through my experiences abroad. Additionally, I am a fast learner, an efficient and organised person. I very much like working and I am someone that if you want I can go beyond my job.
I believe that I could become a contributor to your team very quickly. I am excited about the opportunity to join xxxx and becoming part of the export and the growing success ofa Britain family business.
I look forward to hearing from you on beginning of next week.
Yours sincerely.
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Modifié par lucile83 le 28-02-2016 07:01
Message de marys27 posté le 27-02-2016 à 22:56:14 (S | E | F)
Bonsoir,
J'ai eu un premier entretien à la fin duquel on m'a demandé de leur envoyer par mail mes impressions sur l'entretien. Ils m'ont appelée pour un deuxième entretien et m'ont dit que ce que je leur ai envoyé n'était pas à la hauteur de notre première rencontre et ils m'ont demandé de le refaire. J'avoue que je ne sais pas trop ce qu'ils attendent de moi. Je le mets ici pour que vous puissiez corriger les fautes s'il vous plait.
Merci pour votre aide!
Dears,
Thank you for the opportunity of a second interview for the position of import export assistant and I confirm you my interest on the job.
It was a pleasure speaking with you again and meating Misters xxxx.I also enjoy the opportunity to learn more about the job thanks to the description data sheet you provided me.
I well note the needs of your company. As we discussed you need someone with strong skills and experience on import and export procedure in order to bring back your final products from your different plants, to supply your existing customers abroad and to expand your business in new markets.
For my part,I have extensive experience with road and maritime transports . I know the customs procedures, the incoterms and the administration formalities. I know the operating relationship of the various services of a company thanks to my work in the reception, purchasing, production, sales and logistic departments in my previous job so I have the ability to resolve with reactivity all kind of problems related with logistic and all matters in general . I can create understanding and comunication between the different departments to reach the best efficiency.
I show initiative on my work and I can bring you my openess through my experiences abroad. Additionally, I am a fast learner, an efficient and organised person. I very much like working and I am someone that if you want I can go beyond my job.
I believe that I could become a contributor to your team very quickly. I am excited about the opportunity to join xxxx and becoming part of the export and the growing success ofa Britain family business.
I look forward to hearing from you on beginning of next week.
Yours sincerely.
-------------------
Modifié par lucile83 le 28-02-2016 07:01
Réponse: Feedback/ interview de gerondif, postée le 28-02-2016 à 12:11:11 (S | E)
Bonjour,
peut-être ont-ils eu une mauvaise impression des expressions qui font très "français traduit"(ft) dans votre texte, des structures répétitives.
erreurs en bleu, corrections en vert
Dears(me parait très familier),
Thank you for the opportunity of a second interview for the position of import export assistant and I confirm you(ft) my interest on the job.
It was a pleasure speaking (infinitif) with you again and meating Misters(ne se met pas au pluriel) xxxx.I also enjoy(à mettre au prétérit) the opportunity to learn more about the job thanks to the description data sheet you provided me.
I well note(super ft! : I fully understand/understood, ou alors I am completely aware of) the needs of your company. As we discussed (ft As you pointed out during our interview))you need someone with strong skills and experience on import and export procedure (pluriel?) in order to bring back(sens?? ils re rapportent pas leurs produits en provenance DE leurs usines) your final products from your different plants, to supply your existing customers abroad and to expand your business in new markets.
For my part,I have extensive experience with road and maritime transports . I know the customs procedures, the incoterms and the administration formalities. I know the operating relationship( = c'est une relation humaine, quelqu'un que vous fréquentez) of the various services of a company thanks to my work in the reception, purchasing, production, sales and logistic departments in my previous job so I have the ability to resolve with reactivity all kind of problems related with(to) logistics and all matters in general . I can create understanding and comunication between the different departments to reach the best efficiency.
I show initiative on my work and I can bring you my openess through my experiences abroad. Additionally, I am a fast learner, an efficient and organised person. I very much like working and I am someone that if you want I can go(gros mélange, et style trop relâché) beyond my job.
I believe that I could become a contributor to your team very quickly. I am excited about the opportunity to join xxxx and becoming(oui, mais la première construction était à l’infinitif, pourquoi embrayer au gérondif? part of the export(sens? faire partie de l'export ? export est souvent adjectival) and the growing success of a Britain(aïe, vous confondez Britain et British) family business.
I look forward to hearing from you on beginning(at the beginning of) of next week.(je ne suis pas sûr que les futurs employeurs vont apprécier que vous leur fixiez une date pour leur réponse)
Yours sincerely.
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