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Writing/ correction

Forum > English only || Bottom

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Writing/ correction
Message from jamilsonclo posted on 23-12-2013 at 23:11:10 (D | E | F)
Hello friends,

This is my first post here. I would be very grateful if you could correct my writing or mark my errors.
Thank you all very much.

For the next three years I have as a plan to invest as much as I can in education. By that I mean spending a considerable amount of my free time preparing for important exams and gathering the necessary documentation and skills required by the admission process of the postgraduate programs I wish to apply for. In the long run, however, I wish to open my own company, with the help of the experience acquired while an employee of big companies. Even further, I mean, on my 80's or 90's, I wish I had accomplished all my short run objectives in life, in order to dedicate the rest of my days only to enjoy my family with confort and assurance that I gave it all and worked hard for that.

-------------------
Edited by lucile83 on 24-12-2013 08:02


Re: Writing/ correction from bluduck2, posted on 24-12-2013 at 09:31:49 (D | E)
Hello jamilsonclo,
First of all ,congratulations for your written English ,your humour and your optimism !It's the season for wishes, so I hope you will fulfill all your plans for the near future .
As for your other plans, in your 80 ies or 90 ies,they will take place in the future,so I suggest writing I wish I could accomplish...
Enjoy spending Xmas Eve with your family !
All the best from Bluduck2



Re: Writing/ correction from sherry48, posted on 24-12-2013 at 16:55:52 (D | E)
Hello.

It is well written. I am suggesting some alternate wording, which sounds to me a bit more native like.

For the next three years I have as a plan (or...my plan is) to invest as much as I can in (my)education. By that I mean spending a considerable amount of my free time preparing for important exams and gathering the necessary documentation and skills required by the admission process of the postgraduate programs I wish to apply for. In the long run, however, I wish to open my own company, with the help of (the) experience acquired while/as an employee of (some) big companies. Even further/Eventually, I mean, on my 80s or 90s,(only if you want ! you already have from bluduck) I hope to have accomplished all my short term objectives in life, in order to dedicate the rest of my days (only) to enjoy_____ my family with confort and (the)assurance that I gave it my all and worked hard for that/it.

Sherry





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