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Cliquez ici pour vous connecter Nouveau compte 4 millions de comptes créés 100% gratuit ! [Avantages]  Comme2 millions de personnes, recevez gratuitement chaque semaine une leçon d'anglais... Cliquez ici ! - Accueil - Aide/Contact - Accès rapides - Imprimer - Lire cet extrait - Livre d'or - Nouveautés - Plan du site - Presse - Recommander - Signaler un bug - Traduire cet extrait - Webmasters - Lien sur votre site > Publicités : > Partenaires : -Jeux gratuits -Nos autres sites | One sentence/ CorrectionForum > English only || BottomOne sentence/ Correction Message from airis posted on 07-02-2017 at 23:42:08 (D | E | F) Dear friends I am trying to improve my writing skills and wrote the sentence below, can you please evaluate the sentence from a native perspective? Thanks in advance , "The fundamental principle of veterinary science education is to raise conciseness about animal health care issues and animal welfare, ethic problems among veterinarian candidates." ------------------- Edited by lucile83 on 08-02-2017 07:11 Re: One sentence/ Correction from gerondif, posted on 08-02-2017 at 00:26:43 (D | E) Hello, It is a long sentence, you need a five-litre lung capacity to read it through !  Did you mean conciseness or consciousness ? "The fundamental principle of veterinary science education is to raise conciseness(consciousness?) about animal health care issues and animal welfare, ethic problems among veterinarian candidates." Re: One sentence/ Correction from soei, posted on 17-02-2017 at 07:48:33 (D | E) Hi. I also think it is very long . The reader misses the aim of the sentence and also it's meaning during the reading it. Please rewrite. It's the first and most important problem. Have a nice time with my answer! Re: One sentence/ Correction from phil512, posted on 06-03-2017 at 12:35:18 (D | E) Hello airis I'll join the club of the other contributors. You'd better make shorter sentences. Or, if you really want to keep this long one  , and if I understand your ideas correctly , there might be a structural problem : use a comma after each matter (theme) and use (move) "and" before the last one.Wish you the best ! Re: One sentence/ Correction from zilazila, posted on 06-03-2017 at 12:35:45 (D | E) Hello, Your sentence is too long to read as one sentence. You should change and write two sentences. xxx ------------------- Edited by lucile83 on 06-03-2017 14:58 Forum > English only |
